How to Masturbate Mutually for Blissful Pleasure In 17 Simple Steps

You’ve probably heard a lot of myths and misconceptions about mutual masturbation with a partner. Let’s set the record straight; pleasure need not happen alone. Mutual masturbation can be an incredibly hot and intimate way to connect if you do it right. It taps into the raw vulnerability and sensuality that makes partnered play so powerful.

That’s why I am here for you today.

I’ll walk you through proven techniques to leave you and your lover breathless. From setting the mood with music or erotic stories, to positioning and pacing yourselves for maximum arousal, you’ll discover how to make it an erotic dance to climax together.

Let the pleasure begin…

First Things First: What Is Mutual Masturbation and Why Try It?

In case you are new to this realm of mesmerizing pleasure, don’t worry. I am here for you self-love champion. Mutual masturbation is when two partners masturbate each other, often to climax. It can be an incredibly intimate activity between you and your partner and a great way to learn each other’s pleasure spots without the pressure of intercourse.

Why give mutual masturbation a go? 

Touching yourself for pleasure is a solo activity for many, but research shows sharing that experience with a partner can be intensely connecting and satisfying. Mutual masturbation offers some appealing benefits:

• Builds intimacy: Mutual masturbation allows you and your partner to embark on a thrilling journey of a shared adventure together where you and your partner explore your bodies in sync.
  
  It’s not just about the orgasms but the exciting exploration along the way. You’re both active participants in this sex activity which creates a unique bond that’s both intimate and playful.
  
  Watching and masturbating each other, self-pleasure, learning what turns you both on, making eye contact, kissing, and caressing during the act all help to strengthen your emotional and sexual bond.
  
  
• Low-pressure: Mutual masturbation is a pleasure cruise with no stormy seas that allows you to push boundaries at your own pace without the expectations or anxiety that come with other forms of sex.
  You just sail smoothly into pleasure at your own comfortable speed focusing on your experience.
  
  There’s a special kind of vulnerability that comes with sharing this experience. It’s not just about being physically exposed; it’s about being emotionally open and comfortable in that space. Trust skyrockets as you share this personal experience, creating a haven for both partners to express themselves without judgment.

• A chance to learn: Mutual masturbation is a free ticket to a guided tour of exactly how our partners like to be stimulated, knowing their desires and how their bodies compare to our own.
  
  Paying attention to their breathing, the little moans and sighs, and the way their body moves will enable you to learn what they love and what turns them on. You’ll pick up tips and techniques to use next time you’re getting handsy with each other. This insight will benefit your sex life overall.
  
  
• Safe sex: There’s no risk of STDs or pregnancy, so it’s a great option if you want to get physical but not go “all the way.” Mutual masturbation is also particularly the best option for pregnant ladies as it is safe and very comfortable.
  
  
• Upgrades communication: Mutual masturbation is a non-verbal conversation that goes beyond words. You send signals, learn about each other’s desires, and enhance your ability to communicate without saying a word. It’s a secret language only the two of you understand about your bodies and it creates a deeper connection.
  
  
• Feels good: Masturbation feels good on your own, so sharing that experience with someone else you’re attracted to can amplify those feel-good sensations. Having your partner’s hands on your most sensitive spots with their eyes fixed on you can be intensely arousing.
  
  The visual stimulation of watching them touch themselves in return only amplifies the experience and leaves you both blissed out and eager for more.
  
  
• Spices up routine: Let’s face it, even the most passionate relationships can fall into routines. Mutual masturbation injects a burst of excitement into your intimacy routine.
  
  It’s a delightful detour from the usual script, shaking things up and keeping the spark alive. Over time, this can translate into more frequent, powerful climaxes during both masturbation and intercourse.

What Mutual Masturbation Isn’t

Mutual masturbation is an intimate act between two consenting partners, but it’s important to understand what it is not.

It’s Not a Replacement

Mutual masturbation isn’t a replacement for other intimate acts with your partner like penetrative sex or oral sex. It’s meant as an additional way to be sensual and connect physically.

While it can be highly erotic and lead to orgasm, don’t expect it to fulfill all your needs. Use it as a form of foreplay or as an alternative when other activities aren’t possible or desired like when you are on your period or pregnant.

It’s Not Just About Achieving Orgasm

The journey is as important as the destination. Focus on giving and receiving pleasure, exploring each other’s bodies, and learning what feels good for your partner. An orgasm is a nice bonus, but shouldn’t be the sole goal.

It’s Not One-Sided

Mutual masturbation also isn’t meant to be a performance for your partner’s enjoyment. The goal isn’t to put on a show or prove your prowess. Both of you should fully participate and the experience should be equally pleasurable and engaging for everyone involved. Don’t feel pressured into doing anything that makes you uncomfortable.

It’s Not Just a Sex Act

Mutual masturbation isn’t just masturbating at the same time in the same space. Masturbating just for the sake defeats the purpose of sharing the experience together. The key is to physically connect through touching, caressing, kissing, and exploring each other’s bodies. Make eye contact, talk dirty, guide each other’s hands—whatever revs your engines.

It’s Not Dirty or Taboo

Mutual masturbation is a natural and fun way for partners to be intimate. Leave any negative attitudes or shame behind, relax, and enjoy this experience with your partner.

It’s Not a Requirement

Finally, mutual masturbation should never feel obligatory or like a chore. It requires enthusiasm, passion, and consent from both parties to be enjoyable and meaningful.

If you or your partner isn’t in the right headspace, suggest trying again another time. Forcing it will likely lead to lackluster results and resentment, damaging your intimacy.

How to Masturbate Mutually 

1. Pick the Right Time

Timing is everything, darling. No one wants to rush through an intimate moment, right? Choose a time when both of you can kick back and relax. It could be a lazy Sunday morning or a quiet evening at home; just make sure you’ve got the time to savor the experience without any interruptions the entire time.

2. Find a Comfortable Space

Creating the right setting is key to mutually masturbating with your partner. You both need to feel at ease and relaxed exploring each other’s bodies without judgment.

Make sure to find a private, comfortable environment without distractions. Your bedroom is ideal. Lock the door, and turn off your phones and any TVs if you are not using them to help you get in the mood.

3. Set the Mood, Baby!

Picture this: soft lighting, scented candles, and the perfect playlist setting the vibe. Mesmerizing, right?

The right atmosphere makes all kinds of sex magical so do whatever helps you both unwind and feel sexy. Start with dimming the lights. Dim lighting fosters comfort and relaxation, allowing you and your partner to explore your bodies with ease.

The softer glow intensifies the senses and heightens the pleasure of every touch and stroke, leading to a deeper connection and satisfaction. Dim lights also help alleviate self-consciousness, promoting confidence and a focus on pleasure rather than insecurities. Next, play erotic videos if you ave access to some for an immersive and passionate encounter.

Quote from Kim: “My boyfriend and I love watching porn together and pleasuring each other.”

However, if you are super horny just go straight to the business hunny, no need to set the stage!

4. Have Clear Communication

Alright, darling, it’s time to have a heart-to-heart talk and set the rules of this steamy game. Sit down with your partner and have an open chat. Share your likes, dislikes, and any concerns you might have. Discuss any concerns, limits, or triggers either of you may have before getting started. Set any ground rules for what is allowed and not allowed during your session. This helps ensure you’re both on the same page and can relax into the experience. Make sure you both provide enthusiastic consent and feel comfortable stopping at any time.

Discuss things like:

• What parts of your body do you enjoy having touched?
• What kind of touch do you prefer – light strokes, fingering, firm pressure, rubbing, pinching?
• What rhythm or speed feels good? Fast and vigorous or slow and teasing?
• Do you prefer direct stimulation of erogenous zones or more of a full-body massage experience?
• Are there any areas that are off-limits or that you don’t enjoy having touched?

Once you’ve had this conversation, you’ll have a much better sense of how to pleasure each other.

5. Find a Comfortable Position

When you’re both ready, position yourselves so you have a good view of each other. Some options include:

• Sitting across from each other with legs spread.
• Lying on your sides facing each other.
• One partner kneeling over the other.
• Sitting back to back.
• Lying head to toe.

If you don’t know how any of these positions work, don’t worry. We will talk about each of them in detail later in this blog.

6. Start Slow

Once you’ve found a position you both like, start slowly. Don’t rush into touching each other’s genitals right away. Start masturbating yourself, then have your partner join in by placing their hand over yours.

Next, proceed to sensual touching, caressing, grabbing, and kissing. Next, ease into massaging each other’s hands, arms, neck, and shoulders. Slowly undress each other while maintaining eye contact.

Focus on the journey, not the destination. The slower you go, the more anticipation and excitement will build.

7. Use Lubrication

Adding a lubricant like massage oil, coconut oil or a water-based lube can enhance sensation for both partners. Apply the lubricant to your hands as well as your partner’s genitals. Start with just a few drops and add more as needed. Lubricant allows you to glide smoothly over sensitive areas.

8. Watch and Learn

Seeing your partner experience pleasure is a huge turn-on. Pay attention to your partner’s breathing, movements, and sounds. Make eye contact, watch how they touch themselves, and see how their body moves and reacts.

Notice what they enjoy. Mirror the speed and intensity of their strokes. Mirroring each other’s techniques is extremely arousing. Take mental notes for next time!

9. Touch Each Other

Gently touch, stroke, finger and caress each other at the same pace. Pay attention to your partner’s cues for faster, slower, softer, or harder. Start with broad strokes, then focus on their erogenous zones. For many people, the genitals, nipples, inner thighs, and perineum (the area between the genitals and anus) are particularly sensitive. Help bring them pleasure while also pursuing your own.

10. Use Toys if Desired

If you have vibrators, pocket pussies, dildos, or other toys, now is the time to use them but only if the time feels right for both of you. Start by using them individually while you watch each other. Next, elevate the experience by teasing and tantalizing each other with the toys. Use them to explore erogenous zones and sensitive areas. Allow the toys to enhance the pleasure you’re experiencing together. Explore different settings, speeds, and intensities to find what brings you and your partner the most pleasure. Take turns using the toys on each other, allowing the anticipation to build as you explore new levels of pleasure.

11. Increase the Intensity

As arousal builds, naturally speed up, but continue mirroring your partner’s pace and touch. Stay focused on their pleasure as much as your own. If you are using sex toys, increase the speed to heighten the sensations that sex toys can offer. Remember to stay focused on their pleasure as much as your own.

12. Talk Dirty

As it continues to get steamy, share what feels good, and give compliments and encouragement. Dirty talk makes the experience so much hotter. Don’t be afraid to moan in any way that the pleasure leads you to!

13. Don’t Stop

Keep touching and kissing each other throughout. Gaze into each other’s eyes. Whisper in their ear. Stay engaged with your partner’s pleasure as well as your own. Bring each other close to orgasm, then slow down to prolong the experience.

14. Help Each Other Out

Lend a hand or mouth to help get your partner off. While masturbating together is about self-pleasure, assisting one another to climax is a great way to make it more intimate. If you notice your partner is struggling with anything, reach out fast and ensure you are on the same page!

15. Orgasm Together if You Can

Now, here’s the grand finale. Communication becomes even more vital in this step. Guide each other verbally or through those non-verbal cues. Sync up those powerful moments and reach the peak of intense orgasms together.

It’s about being in tune with each other, riding on the same wavelength of pleasure side by side. Express your desires and check in with your partner, ensuring you’re both on the same wavelength. Think about it like a duet reaching its climax, where both voices rise together in a harmonious crescendo. The beauty lies in the shared vulnerability, the culmination of every inch of pleasure into a burst of shared ecstasy, and the celebration of simultaneous orgasms as a team.

However, while trying to reach orgasm at the same time is thrilling, there’s no pressure to synchronize perfectly. The aim is to enjoy the shared ecstasy and create a profound connection through this intimate experience. So let go and enjoy the experience, enjoy the moment, celebrate the connection, and delight in the afterglow of this shared, blissful experience.

16. Clean Up

After you both finish having fun together, it’s time to tidy up. Use gentle wipes or tissues to clean up bodily fluids. It’s a good idea for both of you to wash up a bit to feel fresh. If you use any toys, follow the instructions to clean them and store them discreetly for next time. Cleaning up is just a practical part of the whole experience, making sure you both feel good and cared for.

17. Enjoy the Afterglow

After you’ve both climaxed, wrap yourselves up in each other’s arms and enjoy the intimacy. Hold each other close and caress each other gently. Share how pleasurable the experience was for you. This post-masturbation bliss is just as important as the act itself.

Best Mutual Masturbation Sex Positions to Try

When engaging in mutual masturbation with your partner, don’t limit yourself to just sitting across from each other or lying side by side.

Mixing up your positions can make the experience more exciting and intimate. Here are a few positions to try:

Face to Face

Sit facing each other with legs crossed or extended, making eye contact as you pleasure yourselves. This position will allow you to kiss, caress each other, and whisper intimately. Lean back for easier access or slowly recline all the way back onto the floor or bed.

Back to Back

Sit back to back, supporting each other with your weight. Reach around to continue stroking yourself or lend a helping hand to your partner. The mystery of not seeing what the other is doing can heighten the senses.

Over-Under

In this position, one of you lies face up while the other lies face down perpendicular, with heads at opposite ends. Each of you will have full access to yourself or your partner for manual stimulation. Engage in 69-style stimulation or just enjoy the view.

Seated Delight

One sits in a chair while the other sits on their lap facing away. Wrap your arms around each other for support and grind against one another as you masturbate. The seated partner can also reach around to lend a hand.

Standing Ovation

Stand facing a wall, table, or other sturdy furniture for support. Bend forward slightly or keep your back straight as your partner stands behind you, caressing your body as you both masturbate. Back up into each other to create delicious friction.

Lie Facing Each Other on Your Sides

This position allows you both to reach each other easily while still maintaining eye contact. Gently stroke each other at the same pace, speeding up and slowing down together. Tease by avoiding sensitive areas, then focusing stimulation there when your partner least expects it.

In Front of the Mirror

Masturbating in front of a mirror provides a perfect view of your partner pleasuring themselves, and vice versa. The visual stimulation heightens the experience for both parties. Try gently touching or kissing each other as you masturbate together for added intimacy.

One Behind the Other

Kneeling or standing behind your partner with bodies pressed together creates delicious friction and allows hands to roam freely over sensitive areas. Reach around to caress nipples or stroke thighs while your partner touches themselves. Nibble their neck and ears for added stimulation.

Best Sex Toys for Mutual Masturbation

When it comes to mutual masturbation with your partner, sex toys can take the experience to a whole new level of pleasure and connection. Here are some of the best toys for interactive solo play:

Wand Vibrators

Powerful yet versatile, a wand vibrator like the Hitachi Magic Wand is ideal for dual masturbation. Use it on yourself while your partner watches, then hand it over so they can experience its intense vibrations. The long handle also makes it easy to use on each other at the same time.

Remote Control Toys

Give the gift of surprise pleasure. Remote control vibrators, dildos, and butt plugs allow one partner to control the other’s toy from up to 30 feet away. The SenseMax SenseVibe is a popular, affordable option with multiple vibration patterns to explore together.

Interactive Toys

When miles separate you, technology comes to the rescue. High-tech toys that can be controlled via an app on your phone take mutual masturbation to the next level. The We-Vibe Sync can be used solo or during penetration and the accompanying app lets each partner control the vibrations. It’s like a next-gen sex toy meets a smartphone.

Dual Stimulation Toys

Toys that provide dual stimulation of the clitoris and G-spot, like the LELO Soraya Wave or Rabbit vibrators, can be thrilling to use on yourself while your partner watches. Have them take over the controls to experience the toy’s ability to pleasure you inside and out.

Penis Sleeves

For male-female couples, a textured penis sleeve or stroker toy used during mutual masturbation allows you both to experience enhanced sensations. The Lifelike Lover Classic Realistic Vagina Masturbator is a popular, high-quality option that provides intense stimulation for him while giving her a sexy show.

Dildos

Whether you prefer glass, steel, silicone or jelly, a dildo lets you penetrate each other for some seriously hot stimulation. Take turns using the dildo on each other, or get into a 69 position so you can thrust into each other at the same time. The dildo makes it possible to experience the joy of penetration even when your hands are otherwise occupied. For those who crave a connection on a deeper level, the Infinity Pleaser is a double-ended delight. It’s versatile, flexible, and designed to bring endless pleasure. Consider it your personal ticket to pleasure town!

Anal Toys

For the adventurous couple, anal toys open up a whole new avenue of pleasure during mutual masturbation. Start with something small like a butt plug or anal beads and work your way up as you get more comfortable. Gently insert and remove the toys, or leave them in during other stimulation for an intense “full” feeling.

Vibrating Cock Rings

A vibrating cock ring fits around the base of the penis and scrotum to enhance stimulation for both partners during mutual masturbation. The vibrations travel through the penis during thrusting motions and provide clitoral stimulation during oral sex or fingering.

Handcuffs

While not technically a “sex toy,” handcuffs can add an exciting element of power play and restraint during mutual masturbation. Take turns being “in charge” and experiment with different positions and levels of restriction. Just make sure to use padded fabric cuffs for comfort.

Bullet Vibrators

The bullet vibrator is small but powerful. They are ideal for massaging erogenous zones all over the body. Have your partner place the vibe on your most sensitive spots for intense stimulation. Then take turns teasing each other in return. Bullet vibes are very portable and discreet, allowing you to use them anywhere.

Myths and Misconceptions About Mutual Masturbation

Many people have misconceptions about mutual masturbation that hold them back from exploring it with a partner. Let’s clear up some of the common myths and doubts:

It’s Only for “Teenagers.”

Mutual masturbation can be enjoyed by people of all ages and stages of relationships. In fact, married couple masturbation is known to rekindle sex life and foster intimacy more than any other kind of sex.

It’s not “Real” Sex.

Any sexual act between consenting partners that brings pleasure can be considered sex. Mutual masturbation allows you to intimately share the experience of arousal and orgasm with your partner.

It’s Boring or Not Adventurous Enough

Like any sexual act, mutual masturbation can be as exciting or adventurous as you make it. Try exploring each other’s fantasies, use sex toys, watch each other masturbate in front of a mirror, or masturbating in semi-public places. The possibilities are endless.

My Partner Won’t be Into it

Don’t assume your partner won’t be open to mutual masturbation without talking to them about it. Many people of all genders and orientations find it to be an enjoyable shared experience. As with any sexual act, consent and the comfort of both parties are key.

It’s only for single people or those in long-distance relationships. While mutual masturbation can be a way for separated partners to remain intimate, it’s an activity that people in all relationship statuses can enjoy together. Whether single, dating, or long-term committed, sharing this experience with a consenting partner can be a fun way to explore each other’s bodies and desires.

It’s a Second-Rate Sexual Activity

Mutual masturbation should not be viewed as a consolation prize or inferior to other kinds of sex. For many couples, it’s a highly erotic act that leads to intense arousal, orgasm, and fulfillment. Some even prefer it over intercourse at times. As with any sexual act, it comes down to personal preference.

It’s Awkward and Embarrassing

While discussing sexuality openly with a partner can feel uncomfortable at first, mutual masturbation itself is a natural and normal activity. Start by communicating desires, limits, and comfort levels to minimize awkwardness. Focusing on your partner’s pleasure and responses can help take the focus off yourself. With practice and experience, the awkwardness tends to fade.

It’s Only About Reaching Orgasm

The goal of mutual masturbation should be intimacy and shared pleasure with your partner, not just achieving orgasm. Take your time exploring each other’s bodies. Make eye contact, kiss, caress, and tease. Discover different erogenous zones and the types of touch you both enjoy. An orgasm may or may not be the end result, but the experience can be deeply satisfying regardless.

Mutual Masturbation: Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Not sure where to start or what to expect with mutual masturbation? Here are some common questions and answers to help get you started:

Is mutual masturbation safe?

Yes, mutual masturbation is a safe activity when practiced with a trusted partner. There is no risk of pregnancy or STDs as long as fingers or sex toys are not used on each other for penetration. However, you should always communicate clearly with your partner about what you’re comfortable with to ensure the experience is positive for both of you.

How do we get started?

The best way to start mutual masturbation is by talking openly with your partner about what you both find arousing. Discuss what kinds of touch and stimulation you each enjoy.

You might start by masturbating in front of each other to get comfortable before progressing to touching each other. Go slowly, laugh, have fun and explore each other’s bodies. Don’t feel pressured to orgasm – just enjoy the experience.

What if it’s awkward?

It’s normal to feel awkward at first. Start by making eye contact, smiling and even laughing with your partner. Compliment them and communicate what feels good. Focus on the arousal and pleasure, not the awkwardness. Remind yourself that your partner wants to share this intimate experience with you.

Starting slowly and building up as you both get more comfortable can help reduce awkwardness. With practice, mutual masturbation can become a fun, exciting and deeply intimate act between partners.

What kinds of stimulation do people usually enjoy?

There are endless possibilities for mutual masturbation. Some ideas include:

• Massaging erogenous zones like the nipples, thighs, neck, etc.
• Manual stimulation of the genitals – touching, stroking, fingering, handjobs.
• Using sex toys like vibrators, dildos or masturbation sleeves on each other.
• Watching each other masturbate and mimicking the techniques your partner enjoys.
• Grinding or rubbing against each other.
• Sensual kissing.

Conclusion

So there you have it, folks. Mutual masturbation can be an exciting and bonding experience between partners if done with care, communication, and consent. Forget the taboos, embrace the vulnerability, and explore new pleasures together. Who knows, you may discover new things about yourself and your relationship. Just be safe, go slow, check in often, and have fun on your journey of mutual self-love!